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About this blog:
This is the place for the real Mark Latham; the Mark Latham who toiled his clacker off in grinding poverty to become dux of his school; the Mark Latham who built his own ladder of opportunity, then scaled it himself with buggerall help from anybody else (er, except full-on legend and mentor Gough Whitlam - Dad, I love ya!); the Mark Latham who is mad as hell, and isn't gonna take it anymore - particularly from the Yanks and their pop-cultural, celluloid imperialism!
So, to all my readers from all over the joint: If you want to know the watered-down, official, media-friendly "Latham Lite" then watch me on the box, read about me in the press, go to the ALP website, etc. But if you want to know what I'm really thinking and feeling then keep coming back here, alright?
And please give a few bob if you can spare it. (It's for the ducks, not me.)
Chicks are forever hurling themselves at me (did you know Rachel Ward has a shrine to me in her bedroom?). But if you're not so lucky with the opposite sex, you might want to have a squizz at the dating sites listed here. For every sign-up, an orphaned duck finds a new home.
Here are some other sites you might want to have a perve at:
Lest any Tory bastard say that because I'm a socialist I'm entirely against earning a few extra bob, here's a link to the world's largest online classified ad service.
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Click here to buy posters!
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| Thank fuck for that! |
| 01.18.05 (4:44 pm) [edit] |
|
Mate, what a load off. I finally did what I knew was right. Like, I'd more or less decided to quit a few days back. (See below.) That all changed when Pancreas did a shit-hot job of convincing me he could hack it. But then Head lobbed into the picture again and had a calm, quiet word in my ear. (Pretty easy, considering his possie.) After that I realised that Pancreas was just big-noting after all. So I reconsidered again. (And don't call it a flip-flop or I'll deck you, alright!) Still, I was dithering wasn't I? Finally it was Heart who got me to bite the bullet. Bloody Heart, of all people! Like, up to then he'd been blubbering like a bastard over the whole tsunami thing. But he stopped that for a while, and went all quiet. Then he spoke his piece. Seems he'd had a bit of an epiphany, because I've never heard the cunt being so articulate. He skipped a beat to get my attention and said these words; words that I will never forget: "Mark, mate, don't be so hard on yourself. You gave it your best shot. And that's all bloody anyone can do, let's face it. After that it's all in the hands of God. (And I repeat: that's God, not Gough, okay!) "If I've learned anything over this past year - particularly with this bastard tsunami disaster, and, closer to home, all these dramas with Pancreas - it's that life is fucking fragile, mate. "Fucking fragile as. "So, you've just go to be true to what's really important. And what's that? Well, der! It's your sprogs. It's your other half. It's the rest of the Latham-Lacey clan. "They love you, mate. And you love them. So don't let the bastards down. "You know what to do." And I did. And I did it. So it's done... Sure, I feel sad. I'll miss the thrill of the fight. But I won't miss the pressure, or those cockheads across the floor, or the roosters in the ranks. No way. They can go fuck themselves. They're all arselickers, after all. So, see you round all you top blokes and chicks. And keep your arseholes behind you, eh! I'm off to get a life. |
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 01.18.05 (4:58 pm)
NO NO NO NON NO - my life is over
the Oz political stage is now empty of character, heart and... and... pancreas
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 01.18.05 (8:16 pm)
i will miss you, back to the bland cocksucking machine men
posted by: Oldie (reply)
post date: 01.18.05 (8:43 pm)
Loved ya blog. Best of luck for the future.
posted by: Brownie (reply)
post date: 01.19.05 (12:48 am)
The tube draining the liver of its bile (the bile duct) lies just behind the head of the pancreas and usually joins the bowel at the same place where the fluids from the pancreas enter the bowel. Running behind the body of the pancreas are many important blood vessels. Because of its position in the body, it is not easy for a surgeon to operate on the pancreas.
It's a WorkCare claim mate. All that bloody bile from the bloody Liberals during the election has backed up on poor old Pancro and flushed him up the creek. the bastards.
posted by: Vidal Sassoon (reply)
post date: 01.19.05 (2:31 am)
bloody hell what is it with ALP haircuts? along with your shaved bonce, La Gillard has got off the plane from Cambodia with a mane that looks like it's been eaten by rats
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 01.19.05 (3:51 am)
Mark I will miss you. The ALP is fuck up with constant leader changes. I thought I will see you not as a leader of opposition but as a Prime Minister of Australia in 2007. Take care of yourself :)
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 01.19.05 (7:32 pm)
We'll miss you, mate. Take care.
posted by: The Cabbie You King-Hit (reply)
post date: 01.19.05 (8:51 pm)
Regent Cabs is hiring, you pugilistic one-pill pancreatic poonce.
posted by: True Believer (reply)
post date: 01.19.05 (9:00 pm)
Well now my life has no meaning. I was rather enjoying this blog, too!
Oh well, have a good life, and hopefully you won't sell out totally and go on Dancing With The Stars II?
Please?
Oh, and I'd just like to mention - I was probably the only one posting here who never got into matters testicular! Hence am a True Believer.
All the best!
posted by: MarkL (reply)
post date: 01.19.05 (9:54 pm)
Ditto, Bluey.
I'll miss you.
posted by: spider stomper (reply)
post date: 01.20.05 (4:04 am)
Sorry to see ya go, son.
Well that's the party well and truely stuffed, nothin left but a bunch of bloody rockspiders. Fuck em all I reckon.
Cheers mate. Take care.
posted by: Paul (reply)
post date: 01.20.05 (10:24 pm)
Mark,
Thanks for the rollercoaster ride. It was fun while it lasted.
Now who will keep the conga line of suckholes honest??
posted by: gubbaboy (reply)
post date: 01.21.05 (1:43 am)
Can we have a Beazley blog or Rudd ramble?
posted by: GB_Cobber (reply)
post date: 01.21.05 (2:23 pm)
Get well soon.
A decision based on love is always the right one. Im going to miss your decisions.
Have a good life.
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 01.27.05 (12:23 pm)
Fuck it.
posted by: Frank H. (reply)
post date: 01.27.05 (4:56 pm)
Well there's always Liverpool Council,after all that was really the scene of your greatest triumphs,such as they were.The Administrator can't run the place forever and when elections are held you'd be a special.No rides in the VIP jets but there's always a nice little earner to be had from Development Approvals and even the occasional Garbage Contract,but you don't need me to educate you in that area,do you?
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 01.29.05 (10:01 pm)
Fuck you cunt for not dying.
posted by: Ben P (reply)
post date: 01.30.05 (9:05 pm)
Bomber Beasley must Blog!
(Goodbye Mark)
posted by: bs (reply)
post date: 01.31.05 (12:59 am)
See ya Mark. Thanks for the ride.
posted by: Will From Perth (reply)
post date: 04.06.05 (7:30 pm)
Mark,
excellent blog. I appreciate the insight you gave me into your clear, penetrating intellect. It's a shame that Pancreas let you down. Stay gold Mate.
posted by: Kate Undy (reply)
post date: 05.01.05 (10:58 pm)
Sprog, come back!! With all this talk of your diaries being peddled around, we need your side of the story before your side of the story does a $100k runner.
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 05.04.05 (12:56 am)
Mate, are you sure you weren't poisoned by the CIA?
After all, you did call Bush a dangerous moron, which he is, but hey, you're not allowed to say so.
Bush has a way of dealing with critics, some of them are suicided, others have sudden heart attacks.
Glad you survived Mark.
posted by: latholatho (reply)
post date: 07.09.05 (10:39 pm)
Hey, is this blog still alive, I want to know what you think of the Lagan book on you, cunt-face.
posted by: Richard (reply)
post date: 09.13.05 (5:36 pm)
First time I voted ALP was when u were leading it. Its all for crap anyway - so i say fuck it and dont live in australia anymore. whats the point anyway - high taxes - a bunch of politically correct cunts running our lives and a PM who lies so much he doesnt care even admitting it. But the worst - the absolute worst is that everyone seems more interested in the next episode of inxs than they do the state of the nation. fuckwits
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 09.17.05 (1:13 am)
You are fucked in the head Latham
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 09.19.05 (9:06 am)
I know this seems obvious, but judging by the comments, possibly not. This is not Mark Latham's blog. It's satire.
Hopefully, 99% of you are reading this and thinking "well, duh".
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 10.10.05 (5:48 am)
Reply to: newbie
duh :)
posted by: Harold (reply)
post date: 01.20.06 (1:31 am)
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